Helping Our Autistic Children Feel Supported at School

"Sending this kid to school without school readiness skill is like sending them to a battlefield without an armour."

This is one of the message that I've always carried with me, wherever I go, whenever I meet school-going clients, and before parents and I discussed about sending their children to school.

Now, going to school requires school readiness skills, socio-emotional skills, self-management skills, and a whole lot of other skills that you could think of. We shared previously about how waiting is a skill that children need to learn develop early on.

For many of our autistic children, school can be a place where it is too loud, too unpredictable, and too overwhelming. Demands, noises, questions; all these when build up might lead to meltdowns. While school is meant to be a place of learning and growth, it could also be a source of stress when a child's needs are not fully understood.

This is where as parents and educators, one of the most meaningful things we can do is create environments where our children could feel safe, understood, and supported. And we're not just focusing on academic, but also emotionally.

Supporting Emotional Regulation

Our children may experience emotions more intensely, and regulating those emotions can be challenging. This is especially so in a busy classroom setting. That's why it is important for us to identify and remember when a child is having a meltdown or shutdown, they are communicating something.

Some supportive strategies we could consider:

• Staying calm and use a gentle tone

• Reduce verbal instructions during distress

• Offer a quiet, safe space to regulate

• Use visual support (e.g., steps to calm down, breathing techniques)

Teaching children to recognise, label, and manage their emotions through tools like breathing exercises or visual routines can help make a big difference.

Offering Choices

This is what I personally favour as I grow in this field as a therapist. We often overlook the importance of giving choices, and often times we expect our children to follow everything that has been set. But we forget that children also have their needs for autonomy. Of course with boundaries and expectations.

Now, school environments often involve many demands and limited control. This is where it could increase anxiety in our children. When we provide structured choices, it helps children feel more in control and reduces resistance to tasks/demands.

For example, "do you want to sit here or at the quiet corner?", "would you like to start with reading first or writing?".

Some schools may be different, and teachers may have different expectations or a set rule on how things in the classroom should be. But the key here is to offer limited, meaningful choices. Don't offer too many choices, and both options should be acceptable to the adult.

Building Predictability and Routine

Some of us may be familiar with this; building predictability. Our autistic children do well with predictable routine. And some develop certain pattern as to how the flow of their routine/day should be.

Uncertainty can be stressful. Having predictable routines help our children to feel safe. Some strategies we could look into:

• using visual schedule (timetables helps!)

• preparing our child for transitions (e.g., 5 more minutes then we clean up)

• give advance notice of changes whenever possible

Advance notice helps prevent challenging behaviour because it is expected. However, when change is unavoidable, it is okay to pair it with reassurance, and some visual support can help ease their anxiousness.

Recognising Overstimulation and Overwhelm

Many autistic children are sensitive to sensory input. All those noises, lights, textures, or even social demands could lead to overstimulation and overwhelm. It could be seen in the form of them covering ears or eyes, increased verbal scripting, increased movement or restlessness, withdrawal or shutting down, or even showing sudden emotional outburst.

Some teachers may have this thoughts after a behaviour occurred: "it happened all of a sudden" or "I only ask simple question, then he screamed"...but remember overstimulation and overwhelm builds up bit by bit, so recognising the signs help us to respond early.

Some helpful support:

• creating a designated calm-down area

• allow sensory breaks throughout the day

• adjust expectations during high-stress moments

Consistency between home and school is also key. Simple collaboration to share what works at home and in school, and having alignment on strategies for behaviour could also help.

In this Autism Acceptance Month, supporting our autistic children in school is not about to make sure they could very well fit into the system or become like a typical model student, but it is about adapting the environment to meet their needs.

With understanding, flexibility, and compassion, we can help create a supportive space for our children.

With intention and care,

Mary Jane

Disclaimer

Every autistic child is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The strategies shared here are meant as general guidance and may need to be adapted based on each child’s individual needs, context, and school settings. If you have specific concerns, it is always best to seek support from a qualified professional.