What I Wish I Knew Before Training Parents

When I first started in this field, I didn't know that parents training was a thing. I enjoyed going to work everyday because that meant I get to play, sing, and have fun teaching in session. Yes, there were behaviours that I often need to "manage", but seeing children enjoy it when I sing and being animated...that was precious.

Now...here came the part that I inconveniently forgot. For the skills that I taught my clients, transferring the practice to the people at home was crucial.

"How do I teach parents?"

"What do I do?"

"Who can model parent training to me?"

"Can I do it alone?"

"Will parents understand me?"

"What language do I use?"

"Um...do I tell parents to sing too? But they're not me."

So many thoughts in my head.

But, even on my first parent training session, I was supported and that was when I knew support and empowerment goes a long way. Not just for parents, but for a budding therapist.

As I went on, years and years of running parent training independently, demonstrating skills to parents, encouraging parents to try it, giving homework and following up, there was one part I overlooked.

Parents are not therapists.

I wish I had known earlier that I could reduce expectations, adjust my teaching, and break down steps more effectively for parents.

These took years to learn. Feedback from parents and supervisors was important.

I wish I has taken that first step to ask parents: "what do you think of my support?", "is this training effective for you?", "is there anything you'd like to adjust?",

"what else would you like to learn?"

That was when I was a therapist. As I gradually moved into different roles, I grew. Not just in experience, but in confidence with my clinical judgement and direction. But always, always with supervision. That was non-negotiable for me.

And somewhere along the way, something else became clear to me.

Parent training was not just about teaching skills.

It was about understanding capacity.

Parents were coming into sessions carrying their own worries, fatigue, and hope. All the while having full days of work behind them, some juggling multiple children. Some holding themselves together.

Expecting them to take on the role of a therapist for consistency and maintenance, even unintentionally, was not realistic.

What parents needed wasn't the "perfect" replication of what I did in sessions. What they needed was clarity, and strategies that fit into their lives, not mine. I began to realise that effective parent training isn't about how well parents can follow instructions; it is about how well the support meets them where they are.

Instead of focusing on whether a strategy was carried out "correctly", I started paying attention to how parents felt using it. Instead of asking "Did you do it?", I adjusted it to "How was it when you tried?", "Did it work for you/or the family?"

What I learnt was not to assume readiness, but to slow down and listen.

And often, what parents needed most wasn't another technique.

"Errorless teaching needs to be this way."

"You missed a step in error correction."

"That's not how you do mand training."

They needed the 'okay' to adjust, to pause, or try a different way that could support both themselves and the child at home.

Looking back, I wish I had known sooner that parent training is not just about transferring responsibility. It's about sharing understanding.

Parents are already doing so much.

Support should lighten the load, not add to it.

This is something that I carry with me now in every space I hold—whether with families, caregivers, or educators. Because when they feel supported and empowered, progress becomes something that grows naturally, not something that needs to be forced.

And this is not to say I've "perfected" the art of parent training. I'm a lifelong learner to effectively support parents. And I hope to keep learning alongside the families I support.

One gentle step at a time.

With care and intention,

Mary Jane